IPaintRainbows

I can't tell who you are underneath your questionable façade; Do you even have a shield surrounding you, preventing hard Evidence from seeping through? I often wonder if my thoughts are true And if I'm in fact right about you, Because I can no longer distinguish the reasoning behind all you do. Your behaviour amuses me, Your brain always refuses me, For nobody ever chooses me. I'm consistently the one who loses. He Pretends he doesn't notice But I occasionally catch his focus And hold it for a moment, mere Seconds to interpret the boy here. This thing consuming me is fear Because I don't know if you are - as I am - a queer.

You paint me a lighter shade of green; The envy in me settles for a moment before I am once again seething. It is something I aim to keep unseen Until it is discovered through my constant heavy breathing. My heart pushes through my chest Whenever you wander by me, brushing my arm without stopping To greet me a fair hello. Perhaps it is best That I leave all hope behind to prevent my heart from dropping Into a pit of despair from which I can't crawl Out of, escaping. A place I have been one too many times beforehand. After each visit I seek to end it all, Before I am lured in by somebody with a sweeter smell, with pure plans, With a smile and

As I simulate nine lives that I could only dream of living, I mull over the decisions and hefty calamities I've been giving And it makes me wonder whether or not it was in good taste For it is possible that those nine lives could go to waste. So let's play pretend, pretending that wandering alone is right, And that it's plausible to turn to insomnia every night Because those nine lives are being developed with such care, Though they are all secret; nobody truly know they are there.

The experience arrived too late For me to inflict damage, and I did not realise That my destiny, pre-determined fate Had already been sealed before I could cut all ties. My entrance was increasingly slow, And before I discovered all of his personality, The kiss of death had occurred. I know That I cannot change reality, But who can stop me? In a perfect world, we would end up together, I wouldn't have to chase my dreams away. In my mind, I know this pain is forever Because I just couldn't seem to stray. Alas, my tale has been told a thousand times before, You understand that it all ends with tragedy? My resolve reflects myself, weak. A war

You're dead wrong. And I'm sorry that you have to hear this from me So painfully But it's for the best That you give it a rest Before you offend a stranger And put yourself in danger, Because I don't want that. You're dead wrong, And I know it's a hard pill to swallow But you can't sit here and wallow In your wrongfulness Because your absent-mindedness Has lead you astray And now you say You "can't accept that". You're dead wrong, Like those politicians who blabber on As if they understand what's going on. You're making a fool of yourself, and I think You're on the brink Of pushing those closest to you Far, far away, because it's all too Ov

She used to walk through the flowers barefoot, Shooting passers-by a judgemental look. Karen didn't think it would come back to bite her. She should have known better. She would flounce around, passing homeless deadbeats Who would grumble when she left without donation. She should have been more charitable, For that way her fate could have changed. She would seduce her men, so enticing between the sheets, And her lips plump and crimson were perfect for flirtation. But when the mornings would come, she'd leave her men irritable As if the one-night-stand were prearranged. Karen didn't think this would come back to haunt her, But little did s

I worship every dream I have because I'm misguided, Falling victim to this love unrequited And I could never run into the walls without preparation Because I'm afraid they'll discover the mutilation. Everything is falling and I have no energy To resent the problematic system that corrupts my memory And who would even dare to resist this progression When I ease my soul into a place of dead depression? Nobody loves me and that's the hardship I confront, Though I know the territory's gone I'll still act blunt And pretend I understand and comprehend my actions Such as how I deal with such abnormal attractions. My love is abnormal and that's wh

Your sting is more than salt in the wound, It is a revelation to me, for I assumed That my life would lead a normal plot. It is just my fault that I forgot That I cannot control these thoughts When they arrive as unique sorts. What shall I do when you realise That the remainder of love ties Me to the deepest abyss? No matter how strong the bliss, It cannot pull me into its line, As my pride stands tall, yet fine. The pride has been built over years, Overcoming phobias and tears And hated truths that I must face, Or restrain with wretched disgrace. When shall I have a hand to hold? Your sting burns my body cold, Icy bruises tainting my mind, A

The anticipation of severing These locks that hold So many memories Is overwhelming. These copper highlights Will no longer grace Such eyes as yours Who avoid and jeer. Excitement is not worth measuring With cheeks so pale, so cold That they shan't hold treasuries And lies breathtaking. When broken floodlights Flash underneath my face, When I have listlessly cancelled all other cures, This is as close to a solution I can be near.

If I were to guard, would I be hailed a saint? Or because of my darkest depths, would they Split up my love to my dismay And cart him off into another dimension, In which he would have to contest with suspension. So let us not pretend That the downpour will end Our misery and mistakes unfinished, And as our hopes are diminished We can not unite nor even link. I understand what they may think Must be untrue, But there is nothing we can do To change their minds. Through the different kinds We have lived as, we face Discrimination out of place. It's such a shame That they aren't to blame, As my heartbeat is faint.